Hiatus

It probably seems silly to go on a hiatus from a fake blog that only has five entries, but the reason for the hiatus is actually quite relevant to the content.


In many ways, having a blog is perfect for my needs: research that never keeps me far from my beloved academia, a way to hone my writing skills, an opportunity to examine myself and my world honestly and thoroughly, and a chance to be the center of attention.

I am quitting this blog --at least for now-- because while I've always devoted more thought than I wish I would to my body, it is now becoming an unhealthy obsession. This blog was meant to be cathartic, but it completely backfired. I mention in my FAQ that I hate "fat talk", but no matter how I frame the content of this blog, that's all these posts amount to. As much as I'd like to think otherwise, I am not a sociologist. I find the research for this topic very interesting, but I'm can't be sure whether my interest is purely academic interest or glutinous, hungry body-obsessed reading. Of course it's both.

I know now that I can't be a fat ally until I stop stigmatizing my OWN fat.

I believe I've been honest about my self-interested reasons for writing this blog (and I mean, why else does any one write a blog unless it is self-interested?) but this is a unique topic; I can't either proudly identify with fat or stand apart from it and observe it unemotionally. And if I can't discuss fat unemotionally, then of course that both justifies the reason for this blog's existence and the reason that it is unsustainable.

And I so hate that this is such an emotional topic that discussing it does absolutely no good (once again, see the FAQ section on fat talk)-how can I learn more about how to cope with the pressure to be thin without even being able to talk about fat or dieting?

I'm working on it.

-The phat ally