"Headless fatties"

I know, I know, I've been slacking off the blog lately.  This week, I moved to a new place AND started a new job.  Ahh!  Still, I really appreciate all the warm feedback on the blog and the interesting articles that you all have been sending me.  Thanks for the support, and for caring.

Today, I want to call attention to a phenomenon of which you are well aware, but might have never given any thought.

credit commonhealth.wbur.org

The "headless fatty" stock image.

Look, they even caught that sugary drink bottle.

Come on, I know you've seen these pictures before.

credit CharlotteCooper.net

credit metro.us

For me, it's evocative of the way major news outlets have to block out the eyes of prisoners for legal reasons, except that the headless fatty phenomenon sends a different message.  These aren't people with stories.  The news outlets that are responsible for broadcasting these images are objectifying fat people to be held in contempt and disgust.  They are erasing their humanity in order to make the same, tired points.  And oh, do we absorb their fat-shaming messages.

We are spoon-fed images about what constitutes "very fat".  We connect the information from these reports with people whose lives do not intersect with our own, that we free to hold in contempt. It's easy to for us to ridicule these faceless bodies.

And it doesn't seem to matter whether it's a news story about obesity in America or an empowering article written by a fat person. 

credit deathandtaxesmag.com

This image is a little different than the others.  The fat woman is facing the camera and wearing a cute dress.  She is smiling as she gets a romantic kiss on the cheek.

Why don't they show her whole face?  Is the photographer reclaiming the headless fatty, and showing that she is allowed to be happy and fulfilled?

Still, show me what else you got, internet . . .

credit CharlotteCooper.net

credit antidieter.wordpress.com

credit current.com

credit shakesville.com

credit upstreamdownstream.org

credit rioiriri.blogspot.com

UPDATE: I meant to include the link to Charlotte Cooper's essay that originated the term "headless fatty".  It's not very long and it's very eloquently written.  You can find it here.

A brief word of encouragement from our favorite mainstream male actor feminist . . .

credit http://feministryangosling.tumblr.com/

the woman's role

I was just talking to my friend Sonia Oram, the highly talented and compassionate brain behind qwear.  (Qwear is an inclusive queer style blog, loaded not only with tips about dressing to express your gender identity but also empowering messages about being yourself, resources for self-harm, and other things.  Check it out!)

Anyway, it was one of those conversations that made me go

We were talking about obscure comments some Missouri GOP Senate hopeful made, something along the lines of "legitimate rape" and "doctors" and women's bodies producing scientific chemicals that block rape sperm if the rape was truly forcible enough to satisfy the far-right's hopelessly narrow definition of rape.

We speculated, what if men were the ones who got pregnant and had to make the choice about getting abortions?

But, of course, that world is impossible to conceive because it turns this world on its head.  We realized that, at the crux of every anti-woman inequality, is the notion that assumes that a woman's primary role is to maximize her sexual and reproductive fitness.

Or, as we put it, almost EVERY inequality stemming from patriarchy is a direct function of women being able to have babies.

I know that this is a very fundamental idea, and probably the first thing some of you learned in Women's Studies 101.  I've heard this concept expressed in other ways, always yoked to other ideas.  But it really lies at the heart of every major feminist debate.

Size acceptance: (Duh.) Pitting women in competition against each other under the pretense of "winning in order to be the healthiest/most desirable".  Like any good free market competition, to produce the highest number of women that fit the narrow beauty ideal.

The wage gap: because, more than a gap between women and men, it is a gap between mothers and non-mothers.  Fun fact, did you know that over 178 countries, which does not include the US, have guaranteed paid maternity leave for new mothers, 50 offering paid leave for new fathers?

Abortion: the most contentious of these debates.  Todd Akin, along with others (although they do not constitute the GOP majority) hold the convenient belief that we don't even need to talk about abortion in cases of rape because it's not even a possibility.   (BLARGH DO THEY SERIOUSLY BELIEVE THAT!?!?!  whew, ok, we have already beaten this to death.  That was cathartic.  Moving on.)

I will put aside statistics of the clear impact that unwanted births have on national crime rate and high rates of maternal morbidity, and the fact that low-income pregnant women are disproportionately affected by anti-abortion legislation, since wealthier women can (and do!) pay more money, take more time off, and travel further distances to meet that need elsewhere.  I believe the most baffling aspect of the debate are the politicians that trust women to make this big choice for themselves in this one, highly emotional instance, but do not trust them to make that big choice for themselves in other instances besides rape, when they are of sounder mind and judgement.

There is no room for them to accept a woman violating the terms of her pregnancy.

You can read my friend AJC's blog post about it here.

UPDATE: AJC has a fantastic take on Akin's comments.  Do yourself a favor and read her post!  You can find it here.

Putting "ghetto" to bed

Dear Readers,

I see it pop up on my news feed nearly every day.  I hear it peppering conversations.  It's about as inventive/descriptive as "random" or "lame", but friends, we should know better than to abuse

credit zazzle.com

When did "ghetto" evolve from a noun into a slang adjective?

THIS is a ghetto.

credit ushmm.org

This too.

thank you cjs.ucsc.edu

We all know what a ghetto is; a poverty-stricken urban area.  How would you put it, Wikipedia?

A ghetto is a part of a city predominantly occupied by a particular ethnic group that may be looked down upon for various reasons, especially because of social or economic issues, or because they have been forced to live there.

These are the things I have heard referred to as "ghetto": lesser versions of other things ("this is the 'ghetto' version"), and styles associated with Black people.  The adjective "ghetto" has become an ambiguous, catch-all adjective of our generation that we have loaded with negative connotations; especially problematic because it has become synonymous with Black culture.  

It's especially creepy that the historical context for the word describes a group that has been forced to live there.  Guys, this is messed up.  We can be more precise with our language and less racist in the process.  

But I'm not done yet.  You're probably wondering what this all has to do with a size acceptance blog.

First of all, size acceptance, as I have said before, is a feminist issue, which is a movement concerned with all things progressive, committed to addressing inequalities beyond gender and sexism: classism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, immigrant issues ... the list goes on.  And of course, feminism has a personal stake in these movements because patriarchy plays a huge role in creating these inequalities in the first place.  As feminists, we can and should leverage both our privilege and empathy towards minority groups to effect change.

And secondly, fat is both more commonplace and tolerated in the Black community.  And there is no group more patronized/exploited for comedic reasons than fat women of color.  The stereotype of the ghetto, fat black woman is always pure comedic gold.

I have heard the word "ghetto" used to describe fat Black men and women, since "fat" is seen as a bad word, and most people would go to any lengths to avoid using it as a description, but they still find it important to convey that they are indeed talking about a fat person.  So, following this line of reasoning, "ghetto" is for some reason a kinder word to use than "fat".  

This is irresponsible and judgmental.  I think it's high time we put the adjective "ghetto" to rest, don't you?

Why I Quit Dieting: True Stories from Real Women

I love Substantia Jones.  SERIOUSLY!  I was just a wee university feminist when I saw her beautiful photoblog linked to feministing.  She was my instant portal into the world of size acceptance.   I've already linked her website, adipositivity, several times on this blog, and it's bursting with imaginative, colorful photography and warm and humorous commentary.  PLUS, I messaged her/friended her on facebook and SHE FRIENDED ME BACK.  What a woman.

So naturally, her link to this interview, put together by the excellent Ragen Chastain, appeared on my newsfeed, where she and a number of other women share their experiences with dieting.  It's brilliant, by the way, do yourself a favor and read the whole thing.

Text:
Substantia quit because:

"I was among the first people in the US to do Fen-Phen in the '90s.  That was the last of many diets for me.  I learned the diet industry is a massive and unscrupulous money-making machine, of which the media (and a many medical professionals) are complicit, often even participatory.

I actually phoned my doctor once, worried I might die from never putting food in my mouth.  I decided to quit dieting and be healthy instead.  I listen to my body, respect nature and human variation, and I focus on overall health, which includes happiness.

The shame associated with food and body have fallen away, making room for the pleasure and function provided by both.  The results of altering nature for the sake of misguided vanity are temporary, but the damages can last a lifetime.  I've developed a more critical eye when reading media coverage of medical studies, and find my methods supported there.  I also get regular medical check-ups and am reassured by my stats.  I think the best thing that you can do for your body is give it pleasure and attention."


I want to thank Substantia and these other wonderful women for sharing their experiences.  Even though I already mentioned in one of my pages that I'm on the fence about dieting itself (or "lifestyle changes" or whatever you want to call it), since we are living in a society where it has the power to make women feel like they can take control of their lives or feel better about themselves, I am overwhelmingly against the multi-billion dollar diet industry, which exists to sell itself at the expense of the physical and mental health of millions of women (and men).

And can you believe what a radical statement this eloquent, concise interview is?!  Conceding that overall health includes mental health, and that feeling happy is more important than being thin??  We're always told that thinness=happiness.  Happiness is magically granted upon arriving at that destination!  But it's people like Substantia Jones that can personally attest that that is not true.  She is letting herself be herself, fat and happy, which Melissa McEwan of shakesville.com has called "a radical act".

courtesy of flab-to-fab.com

Keep fighting that good fight, Substantia Jones!

courtesy of the adipositivity project

Even though you're swimming against a ridiculously powerful tide of fat-hating culture.

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I was surprised/not surprised to see this well-intentioned comic on my news feed....

Instead of only loving your body when it's "perfectly fit", how about loving your body for the amazing things that it can do?

I understand that this comic is feminism-lite; every one is down with size acceptance as long as every one is trying as hard as they can to have a "perfectly fit" body.

Does any one think it's sad that the only narrative we have for not reaching our "target size" is lack of willpower?

Am I reading too far into this?


PS: I just clarified on facebook what I meant by this post.  I'll rewrite it here: what I meant to say is that this comic is a good reflection of the way women usually talk to each other about weight; that even if their friends on't have the body they want (which is almost always), the friend gives permission to love themselves, but it holds the "perfect body" as a beauty ideal.  What I'm saying in my blog is that I want to go further - really accepting all types of bodies, not just settling for less than the ideal.  Does that make sense?

"They just don't understand that bigger people can be elite athletes"

Readers, it looks like we have yet another BAFL (Bad Ass Fat Lady), here to offer us some fantastic words of acceptance and wisdom.  Her name is Cheryl Haworth.  OLYMPIC MEDALIST Cheryl Haworth!! Heard of her?  Seen her?

thank you, pbs.org

Damn, she is so inspiring.  I highly encourage you to read the entire article.  She discusses having to face people who are confused by a woman who is both very fat and in excellent physical shape.  She also shares about weightlifting and other experiences.
They also discuss the fantastic documentary about her experiences, STRONG, linked below.  I haven’t actually had a chance to watch the entire thing yet, but it’s not too long, under an hour, and it won’t be streaming for much longer!  Be sure to check it out.

Interview

Documentary

Feeding your soul, part 1

I interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to present one of my own personal heroes.

Formerly Sugar,



now, having come out Valentine's Day 2012 as Cheryl Strayed.



See what I did there?!

I loved her when she was Sugar, and I was afraid I wouldn't love her any more after she came out.  But she is still the same Sugar, except now I know where to look to find her incredibly beautiful writing.  I wish I could express to all of you what she has meant to me.  I saw this glittering human speak tonight at the Harvard book store.  Meeting her in person was an incredibly moving experience.  I want to share her with every one I meet.

From the Reckoning:
"My mother never spoke an ill word about my father to my siblings and me . . . she didn’t demonize him. She cast him as human: complicated, flawed, and capable of redemption. Which means, in spite of everything, she made it possible for me to love my father, this absent man who was half of me."

From How You Get Unstuck:
"Don’t listen to those people who suggest you should be “over” your daughter’s death by now. The people who squawk the loudest about such things have almost never had to get over any thing. Or at least not any thing that was genuinely, mind-fuckingly, soul-crushingly life altering. Some of those people believe they’re being helpful by minimizing your pain. Others are scared of the intensity of your loss and so they use their words to push your grief away. Many of those people love you and are worthy of your love, but they are not the people who will be helpful to you when it comes to healing the pain of your daughter’s death.

They live on Planet Earth. You live on Planet My Baby Died."

Inspiration comes from so many places, but no matter how I have felt in these two years of reading her column, she has always spoken directly to me.  If you are interested in working through your problems, becoming a better person, or simply reading great stories, you can check out the entire archive in the Dear Sugar section in therumpus.net.

Some of my favorites:

Tiny Beautiful Things

The Reckoning

How You Get Unstuck

The Obliterated Place

Reach

Please enjoy, and welcome to the Cheryl Strayed fan club community.

"I don't identify with my body"

There is a common narrative associated with trans people; that as they mature, they are confused by the body they see in the mirror.  It doesn’t match their idea of what their body should look like. 

Since I am not a) a trans person and therefore b) not every single trans person, I don’t know whether this is everyone’s experience.  However, I had a conversation with a friend today who identifies as genderqueer.  She said two things about body image that I found very striking:

1. She would love to be skinnier, because it would make her look more androgynous.

2. She does not identify with her boobs.

First of all, I want to thank her for opening up about a personal issue that I never hear discussed.  It’s hard to share your personal experience with an unknown audience that might not be receptive.  I’d like to make two separate points.

First, my feminist worldview provides me with both an eye to look out for issues that disproportionately affect women, and therefore, a vocabulary that limits me to talking about the world in terms of men vs. women, ignoring the experiences of people outside the binary. 

I have never claimed that men are not affected by society’s fat hatred.  A common trope is that men want to bulk up in order to fit the masculine beauty ideal, but there are plenty of men out there who are losing or trying to lose weight.  But I do think that women are disproportionately affected by the fat stigma.  Women’s bodies tend to be curvier, softer, tend to store fat more easily.  Women are also more bombarded with beauty-related information and are under more pressure to conform to a beauty standard. 

I can trace society’s association between androgyny and thinness – men’s bodies, though not necessarily thin, have neither big boobs nor hips.  Have you spotted this androgynous young hipster?

(Credit to iloveyounonetheless.wordpress.com)

(Courtesy of qwear.com)

Maybe this one?

You just do you, Patti Smith.  No matter what I love you forever.

But just as there are men of all shapes and sizes, there are androgynous people of all shapes and sizes, too, who are constantly forced to navigate through a world of people who don’t understand their gender identity and will never be able to “read” them the way they feel.

And my friend’s point shows this blogger that all people, not just people who identify as women, experience a pressure to look thin.  For all kinds of reasons.

The second point – the feeling of not identifying with her boobs – felt more personal to me.  I believe she was referring to her confusion at seeing her boobs in the mirror, and her aversion to being reminded of their existence.  (And it ties in with wanting to be skinnier – a skinnier body means less boobs.)

The experiences of the gender-variant are tough to fathom.  The gender binary is even more deeply ingrained into society than fat hatred.  Every single piece of clothing, every job, toy, and emotion in this world is gendered. 

(Thank you, socimages)

But I will be so presumptuous to say that I can relate with the feeling of being confused by the body I see in the mirror.  Both gender-variant people looking for people of their gender, and women trying to escape the stigmatization of fat, don’t see bodies that look like theirs in magazines, movies, and other media.  Of course, gender-variant people have gender issues to think about in addition to their body issues. But when I look in the mirror, I am confused that my body is not thinner.

These forms of media reinforce the idea that women’s bodies that aren’t thin don’t exist, unless they belong to a wacky aunt.  Mainstream main characters don’t have paunchy little bellies or uneven breasts or big calves.  Women in advertisements have perfectly glowing skin, delicately curving backs, narrow shoulders. 

Then the ads target me.  Everything about me that is different is an imperfection.  Newspaper articles come out with tips on getting a flat stomach.  Eating certain superfoods will make my legs more shapely. 

And then, we talk, talk, talk about it, silently comparing our bodies to each others’ and trying to one-up each other with our own body-related complaints.