on generalizing

so far, a trend (and big problem) I've noticed while writing this blog is the tension between my own insecurities and how I've projected them onto "society". I really do think of fat stigmatization as a systematic problem with which many can relate - the proof lies in the sheer number of both fatosphere blogs and diet-related everything in the world around me that reinforces my fears. In the meantime, I'll try to find the fine line in between the two - to ensure that this blog is both personal and relatable but still, if not rigorous, then at least honest.

fat label vs queer label

The fat label can be used in two ways.  I have usually heard it used in a derogatory way, but like many slurs directed at marginalized groups, some fat people have reclaimed the label. Rarely is it used as a neutral descriptor.


We see a similar phenomenon with the "queer" label, but these labels are very different.  Gayness is (often) perceived as an essential, genetic, biologically-influenced trait.

Many mainstream "nurture" vs. "nature" arguments proposing what makes people gay are both accepted, but for the most part, it seems that their allies don't really care.  Being gay is hip, subversive, and interesting.  On the other hand, fat people are shamed for their lack of discipline and are viewed as people that could be thin if they really wanted.  Their marginal status is seen as their own fault.

I just used queer and gay interchangeably, but that's not right.  Queer is a label requiring voluntary visibility.  Many LGBT people do not identify as queer.  I can think of three factors in determining "queerness":
-Same-sex sexual/romantic encounters OR curiosity, interest (or shame?) in contemplating doing so*

-Interest in “queer issues” (queer-related politics and history, combating gender and sexual-based violence . . .?)

-Desire to be viewed as “queer”

I was interested in surveying fat friends of mine, and then I realized the absurdity of that project.  Queer is a label contingent on voluntary visibility.  The fatosphere is a reaction to too much visibility and shame associated with it.  Because which of my friends are fat?  Suddenly I’m in charge of choosing the ones that I think are fat.  Who do I pick: the friends that hate their bodies, or that love their bodies? The ones pressured constantly by their mothers or occasionally by perfect strangers to lose weight?  The ones who think that others find their bodies disgusting, with no verbal proof?  Or the ones that own their unconventionally larger size (or body part) with pride?

Careless talk, first post

I had been planning to start this blog for awhile now.  But nothing motivated me more than a careless comment I heard from an acquaintance earlier this week.  She complained that her sports team played so badly that weekend, it lost to another team that had three fat girls.

I don't think the comment was particularly meant to attack fat people, or was an indication that she hates fat people.  She added the comment as a bitter end to a story full of mishaps for comedic effect. (And the other listeners found the comment to be very funny.)  But the meaning was there: if only everything had happened as planned, they wouldn't have lost to this obviously inferior other team.

This made me uncomfortable. This woman (who seems to be very accepting of others generally), like most people I know, groups fat people together in her mind.  However, instead of treating them as a part of an oppressed and marginalized group, she lumps and stereotypes them in a continuum with the "less in shape" narrative associated with their size.

These women play in a competitive sports league, for goodness sake.  But she doesn't look down on me for being equally horrible at all sports; she knows they're just not my thing.  But no judgments because I'm thin so I must keep myself healthy in some way.